Serious Topic

[~THE INVISIBLE MAN~]

Ok gang this is one to be serious about.
I have a r/t friend who is 22 and has a new born baby. The problem here is her husband is verbaly abusive to her. She has thought of leaving but alway's backs out.

What I want is Idea's or thought's that might be able to help her. So she doesent end up like so many that end up with no self respect or worse.

Think you can help? respond to this!

~THE INVISIBLE MAN~

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[rotten]

I've been in this situation where i knew she had to get out of it...it wasn't healthy for her mentally...will not be healthy for her baby etc....

Just dont believe you can really say anything to her that will change her mind... maybe im jaded on this subject but she is drawn to something in him. and her alternatives as she sees them are "be alone...with a baby and be miserable" or have someone there ....although he treats her bad there are good times. and she needs those good times.

i used to think im gonna talk sense into this person...but they have to learn for themselves.

althought you love her and want her to be safe she obviously cares more about the guy than any consequences...i mean she had his baby? unless i read that wrong.

just try not to get disgusted with her lack of self esteem etc... and let her learn the hard way

i honestly believe there is someone for everyone out there...and abusers have someone too..those willing to be abused.

sorry if this is jaded but people should only help people who are willing to help theirselves.

[~THE INVISIBLE MAN~]

You have a good point Rotten, however what if she want's to leave but doesent truly know all her options?

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[Macydamn]

rotten is exactly right, as jaded as he may seem.*S

You seem to care alot about this person...and what happens to her...find a website....have her write down all of the questions she has..find answers for her. Most young women with infant children are just afraid to take that first step. If she will allow you to, take it for her. Also think about this...women support groups can give a list of lawyers that will do free consultations...actually, most divorce lawyers do anyhow.

I think the most important thing you can do though, is to simply be her friend. You can make a difference in her self esteem just by being there and pointing out her good qualities.

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[~THE INVISIBLE MAN~]

Macy that is a good point about the web site.
I had never thought of that. My friend is also very gullible, as I say this because when she threatens to leave he tels her he will end up getting the baby. I tell her he won't for 2 resons he has no job! and 2 he does dugs. no court will grant custody to any man on those count's * sigh* I just wish she could open her eye's
Thanks for replying.

This hour I tell things in confidence,
I might not tell everybody, but I will tell you. ?Walt Whitman?

~THE INVISIBLE MAN~

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[Blazey]

I have myself been in that situation..Thank god no baby and it was verbal and pysical.If you truly want out, You have to make that choice. No one can do it for you and all the advice and support in the world cannot make you do it. When you have had enough you will go..If i would have had a child i would never ever have stayed as long as i did..but thankfully i didnt.Its hard when you love them..but when you realize they wont or cant change..it all comes down to survival..is their life more important than yours?..I said HELL NO..and here i am today..it took 3 long years of hell and lots of court dates..But i have a life and a wonderful person to share it with.I am free of his abuse..I will never forget it..i have scars seen and unseen..but i thank god everyday that i am alive and well.. ..Be there for her in all ways..but only she can choose in the end..Your love and friendship can help pull her thru dont get me wrong when i say all the advice ect..What i mean is..Choice is all that can save her..SHE has to want to do it.
I think i just said what Rotten said.. ..just a lil different..
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HEH HEH

[This message has been edited by Blazey (edited December 06, 2001).]

[Më£ïñÐa]

Yes! they've said it all.... and very well...

i cant think of anything worse than a drug addict, abussive mind fuck!!!!

the reasons why she's still there???

did she think that he might change after the baby???
Women always hope, but Men never change after having a baby..

is she waiting/hoping for a time when he cant get the drugs...like either he cant get ahold of any or its shit, or he doesnt have the money.....
... she might be thinking , if he could only stay sober for awhile, he'd realize that he has a beautiful little family goin on....??
That will never happen, cus if she thinks he's bad on the shit!!
there is no tellin what he's going to do when he cant get to it....

Theres thousands of web sites that are here just to help women exactly like her.....
On my backdoor page...To The PHpool.....
scroll down to the search engine, its an excellent search engine....
type, in anything your looking for, mind abuse, battered women, ect, ect,

and if after doing the question thing that Blaze said...
if she still doesent make an effort..
than you might have to consider she's doing a bit of the drugs as well...
Dont get mad at me for saying that....k
take a good look, you just might be supprised....

Like they said...
untill she wants to do something about it...
the only and best thing you can do for her... is be her touch of sanity....
some women can get lost in the mind fuck..


If i dont make any sense, its cus i keep fallin asleep...k...

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..::m?l::..
Absolutely!Nutz!
Thought i wasnt??...w*
m???c???s
to the
PHpool<font size =1><font color=black>

[This message has been edited by M?????a (edited December 06, 2001).]

[~THE INVISIBLE MAN~]

Everyones reply is fantastic and thoughtfull
full of insight and i thank each and everyone of you!

Mel I wouldent get mad for things you say!
...........................................
This hour I tell things in confidence,
I might not tell everybody, but I will tell you. ?Walt Whitman?
............................................

~THE INVISIBLE MAN~



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